I’m not sure what is right, to be honest

I gave my now much older children a set amount when they were in high school to cover clothing, beauty/hair cuts, entertainment and gas. I honestly can’t say that it drove the concept of budgeting in for them as young adults as we’d hoped. On the flip side, my youngest children have grown up constantly hearing that impromptu wants of theirs aren’t in the budget. They completely accept this and stop asking for things as soon as we remind them of our budget. We also tell them all the time to put things on “the list” when they ask for extras. (i.e., my little girl will say, “Momma, can I have this stuffed bunny?” I’ll say, “O.K. sweetie, let’s put it on the list!” She’ll get excited, and that’s the end of the conversation. Works everytime! lol). They’re both good with this, too. The thing is, we do, every once in a while, tell them that we have a surplus of money, and what would they like to buy that is on their list? We also give them opportunities to earn money for certain tasks, but the ironic thing is that they never want to spend the money they earn themselves. They’ve also learned that there is a reason we save money. Last year, as a lot of you know, we took them to Finland to meet the real Santa Claus and to ski. They know we saved and saved for that trip. Right now we’re saving to go to the UK so that we can go to every amusement park that Peppa Pig and Thomas the Tank Engine has rides at, and we will do this. The children have decided they really want to do this, and they know we have to save (again) to do another one of these fun family trips. We choose short term and long term goals as a family and make sure it happens. I think this is why our saying that something isn’t in the budget is an acceptable answer to our children, and why they are willing to stop bugging us for things, and are willing to earn money for individual tasks rather than our just handing out money on a weekly basis. I don’t know the answer is as to whether allowances and commissions are the way to go, I just know what seems to work for us, and what hasn’t worked for us (doling out the money for the bigger kids and yet they still can’t budget, even while they are in their 20’s). I think you just have to mess around with different things and see what works successfully with your children and for your family.